Over
the course of the last 15 years I have been through some pretty hard
times in my life this spans from [1999-2013] I have grown up writing.
Whether it was once just me and a notepad. I would write personal
thoughts down in journal form. It wasn't long were I started to write
stories that covey my pain. I developed those stories into something
deeper then I could have ever though imagined. In [2002] I begin my
blogging experience writing about my life on a yahoo group that I
created. It started as something fun and lite hearted. It wasn't long
until I got bored and begin writing reviews for television shows, I
mainly focused on Smallville. After a couple years I moved on to writing
short scary stories, and as I was beginning my acting career I also
began script writing. In [2008] I started my second blog where I just
let everything out. All of my feelings about my life and my journey. I
wrote about television shows, films, I began displaying my music views,
and what I thought. I really dug deep and showed what was on the inside,
although not all that positive, but I wrote it. Now [2013] I am
focusing on my life through just poems. After all these years my writing
has been just a cry for help. I wanted to relate with people, and I
wanted them to relate with me. I am really hoping that people can relate
with the things I bring up this time around.
I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...